Technophobia is a column by Rowan Dinwoodie. Views expressed are not necessarily those of Digixav.
A couple of months ago I set up a Twitter account. I haven’t been on it since. I don’t have (much of) a problem with Twitterers. I just don’t really get Twitter. I don’t give a toss if you’ve just had a shit. End of.
Twatter Twitter just seems to be away for random people to legally stalk you. In fact, it’s encouraged! Is that wear society is heading? Instead of actually having to follow them and duck behind a parked car every time they look round, you just have to use a computer. It takes all the fun out of it.
I could sort of understand if you’re a celebrity then in might be a good way to let your fans know what you’re doing. But for a normal person? Why would you want to post tweets? Are there seriously going to be that many people who want to follow you? Just use Facebook. It’s not that bad!
OK, I get hashtags. It could be kind of useful if people want to talk about the same thing on Twitter. Xavier tells me that he found out about Gadhafi’s death by monitoring Twitter trends but, as I write this, some of the UK’s trending topics include #askmamakelly and the rumoured name of Lady GaGa’s new tour. Granted, these make a welcome change from crazed teenage girls who shouldn’t even be on Twitter wishing their favourite auto-tuned wannabe popstars goodnight and threatening to kill someone for going out with Justin bloody Bieber, but still, who actually gives a crap?
Even worse than this is the type of Twitterer who is so obsessed with the microblogging service that they use them in normal written text. NOOO! It’s not right! We can still write like normal, sane human beings. We haven’t completely sold our souls to social networking. Or have we?
‘You think it’s OK to do that? #dickhead’
No! You’re the dickhead for using a hashtag in normal writing! You’re not on Twitter. Leave hashtags where they belong!
So please, if you’re ever writing on a blog/Facebook/whatever, never, ever use a hashtag.
It just pisses people off. Or is it just me?
(Do, however, follow Digixav on Twitter. We welcome your hashtags there! – ed)
Image from DeviantArt