Things That Should Exist: The Instant Rap Battle Machine

Things That Should Exist is a column by James Trickey. Things suggested are not always good ideas.

I know it sounds incredibly similar to the Instant Insult Machine and I can tell you now that it is indeed. I have my reasons for this, the first being that I have been running low on ideas lately, but to be honest I’ve been struggling for ideas since day one. The second being that it is another thing that should exist and so ended up here on Digixav.

I want to explain to you lot that it is an “upgrade” of the previous machine that looked like some odd tortoise thing and will look exactly the same but with a few different features. If you really want, I can throw in some accessories for it like sunglasses and a pimp hat (or anything else from that Build-A-Bear place). This means you could have a pimp beatboxer! Here is an example that I made on Paint yet again and, if you didn’t know, the purple thing sticking out of his hat is a feather, like pimps have. If you don’t get it, nevermind. We really need to get Photoshop.

The Instant Rap Battle Machine will come with a preset beat that you and your challenger or challenged can rap along to. You could enter your rap names into the machine (mine’s MC Jtrick) and as the beat drops the robot shouts “Get ready (I can’t think of a good rap name so I’ll) Eminem! Lets hear you rap in 3..2…1!” and then everyone listens to the intense rap that has been spat. This will be repeated for the other guy (someone crap so we’ll go for) “Justin Bieber!” and he will sing some song which technically won’t be allowed because it’s not a rap but we won;t go into details. And just so you know, Eminem won that one.

It will also feature a sound detector thing so if there is an enormous crowd present (which there will be) it will take the volume of the “OOOooooo….R U GONNA TAKE THAT FAM?!?!”s (as in the plural, you understand, no?) and the rap with the loudest  “OOOooooo….R U GONNA TAKE THAT FAM?!?!”s wins.

This new version won’t do the insulting for you but rather enhance your insulting enjoyment, because I know that I could do with something that makes hurting people’s feelings more fun since it’s just a bit plain at the moment.

As with the previous model, you could download different voices for the machine and different beats off iTunes or whatever. I’m sorry for having no imagination with the photos but meh.

And so with another week gone I say goodbye, but I’ve run out of stereotypical comic book noises.

POW.

Header image from spinningpixels

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Chrome extension hides annoying Twitter trends about the likes of Justin Bieber and One Direction

Ever gone onto Twitter and seen the trending topics occupied by ridiculous statements from the fans of Justin Bieber and the like? Things like these seem all too common.






Thankfully Ben Hooper, aka @mythofechelon, has developed a Chrome extension that filters out trends relating to Justin Bieber, Rebecca Black, Lady GaGa, Jedward and One Direction, with more plagues artists to follow at a later date. The trend-purging extension is free to download from his site, and Hooper would love some feedback on Twitter or by email. Watch the video below to see the extension in action.

Happy browsing!

Instagram launches on Android after iOS exclusivity

Instagram, the popular photo-sharing app cum social network, finally launched on Android today. The app, which lets users apply filters to their pictures and share them across a variety of social networks, including within its own community, has proved wildly popular since its launch on iOS, with over 30 million registered users (from myself to Justin Bieber) and Apple naming it as the best iPhone app of 2011. If you have a phone running Android 2.2 or later and you want to see what all the fuss is about, head over to Google Play for the free download (unless you have the new HTC One X), but don’t blame me if you become addicted. I hear it can have that effect on people.

Instagram, Android & iOS, Free
Download from the App Store or Google Play or visit the website

WP7 AOTW: Rowi

This week’s app of the week for Windows Phone is Rowi, a Twitter app by Hidden Pineapple.

Many people would just say that you don’t need a Twitter app on a Windows Phone as it is already built into the OS. I personally love the Twitter integration that was added with Windows Phone 7.5 but, for some things such as actually reading my feed, it is not that great. So, after a while of struggling to keep up to date with all of the people that I legally stalk, I decided to download an app to use instead.

I started off with the official Twitter app for Windows Phone, which was horrendously bad, before going on to Birdsong which was better but still not that great. Eventually I came across Rowi, and everything changed. This little app is great, being incredibly simple to use and designed with a perfect Metro theme. When you open the app, your feed is the first thing you see and, with one swipe of the screen, you can see both your mentions and direct messages. You can even set it so that your notifications such as mentions and messages appear on a live tile. I think that the single most annoying thing about the Twitter website is that you have to manually update tweets, but Rowi auto-updates and, although new posts will appear while you are reading, the app leaves you where you are and just stacks the tweet on top of all the previously read ones. Now when you are reading what @JustinBieber was doing a week ago and a new tweet comes through, you don’t have to scroll all the way back down to where you were before.

Rowi, Windows Phone 7, £2.29
Download from the Marketplace or visit the website

Follow me on Twitter @huntho21 for random babble and cool stuff!

Technophobia: What’s with all the #hashtags?

Technophobia is a column by James Hardy. Views expressed are not necessarily those of Digixav.

A couple of months ago I set up a Twitter account. I haven’t been on it since. I don’t have (much of) a problem with Twitterers. I just don’t really get Twitter. I don’t give a toss if you’ve just had a shit. End of.

To me, Twatter Twitter just seems to be away for random people to legally stalk you. In fact, it’s encouraged! Is that wear society is heading? Instead of actually having to follow them and duck behind a parked car every time they look round, you just have to use a computer. It takes all the fun out of it.

I could sort of understand if you’re a celebrity then in might be a good way to let your fans know what you’re doing. But for a normal person? Why would you want to post tweets? Are there seriously going to be that many people who want to follow you? Just use Facebook. It’s not that bad!

OK, I get hashtags. It could be kind of useful if people want to talk about the same thing on Twitter. Xavier tells me that he found out about Gadhafi’s death by monitoring Twitter trends but, as I write this, some of the UK’s trending topics include #askmamakelly and the rumoured name of Lady GaGa’s new tour. Granted, these make a welcome change from crazed teenage girls who shouldn’t even be on Twitter wishing their favourite auto-tuned wannabe popstars goodnight and threatening to kill someone for going out with Justin bloody Bieber, but still, who actually gives a crap?

Even worse than this is the type of Twitterer who is so obsessed with the microblogging service that they use them in normal written text. NOOO! It’s not right! We can still write like normal, sane human beings. We haven’t completely sold our souls to social networking. Or have we?

Example:

‘You think it’s OK to do that? #dickhead’

No! You’re the dickhead for using a hashtag in normal writing! You’re not on Twitter. Leave hashtags where they belong!

So please, if you’re ever writing on a blog/Facebook/whatever, never, ever use a hashtag.

It just pisses people off. Or is it just me?

#stopthehashtag

(Do, however, follow Digixav on Twitter. We welcome your hashtags there! – ed)

Image from DeviantArt