Without Glass: Blogger Spends Entire Google I/O Keynote Duration In Real World Completely Oblivious And Survives

Xavier Voigt-Hill [right] pictured with comedian Bill Bailey two months before his three-hour long offline ordeal

Xavier Voigt-Hill [right] pictured with comedian Bill Bailey two months before his three-hour long offline ordeal

For any tech blogger, young or old, to miss out on attending, liveblogging or even following an event such as Google’s annual I/O keynote sounds like an impossible idea in the 21st century, but 16 year old Xavier Voigt-Hill disrupted the synergy of the modern world by doing just that, managing to remain oblivious to the occurrences at Google’s San Francisco event for its entire three hour duration.

Speaking exclusively to Digixav, Voigt-Hill claimed that staying away from the Internet blogosphere between the hours of 5pm and 8pm BST on Wednesday was far easier than many addicts may believe, as he interacted with real humans and went outside.

“I had prior commitments for over half the keynote time, so I thought I may as well do my best to miss the whole thing and then catch up on all the news later on. It turns out that was surprisingly easy.”

Logo of Google I/O 2013, the keynote of which Voigt-Hill avoided for three whole hours

Logo of Google I/O 2013, the keynote of which Voigt-Hill avoided for three whole hours

Voigt-Hill, who has played bassoon since the age of 12, blamed the scheduling of a school band rehearsal for his initial decision, although the rehearsal was later cut short and stopped 3 times due to inclement weather.

“I knew that during band practice I would have no chance to check Twitter or any of the liveblogs, let alone write my own, but when it was delayed I just decided to talk to people and then write a satirical blog post because I was really, really bored.”

When asked what he wanted Google to announce during the keynote presentation at Moscone West in San Francisco, the self-proclaimed technology fanboy had strong opinions.

“Chrome OS stuff. The web only life is not far away, and Chrome OS is definitely the thing to take us into the future of computing. Google Glass is the next big revolution too, so I hope they have something better than last year’s skydiving. Android stuff I can give or take, really.”

Xavier Voigt-Hill returns to his career as a full-time Internet user tonight at 8pm BST. He promises to never leave home again.

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BlackBerry 10 launch liveblog: full-touch Z10 and QWERTY Q10 shipping this week in UK and Europe

Screenshot 2013-01-30 at 12.27.04

It’s been a long time coming, but today is the day that RIM steps into the future as they prepare to unveil their new – and heavily delayed – BlackBerry 10 platform and devices. Rumour has it that we will see two devices today – one with RIM’s iconic QWERTY keyboard and one with just touch input – and further leaks suggest that we could even see devices on store shelves within the next 24 hours. Whether or not this turns out to be the case, RIM’s New York launch event starts at 10am ET/3pm GMT, and we will be blogging it live on this very page. Join us then to find out what RIM’s been working on.

All times are in GMT
This event has now finished

14:58 Let’s go!

15:00 Things seem a bit late starting, but the live stream is available here.

15:01 The apps seem to be popping up already. Here’s evidence.

15:04 According to TechnoBuffalo, the Z10 is already in Phones4U. We’ll be hunting it down tomorrow.

15:06 Things are kicking off! They flashed up the already-announced software stuff and now a broadcasting guy is showing global launches.

15:08 Now they’re showing business people (including EE’s Olaf Swantee) talking about what they love about BB10.

15:09 What seems evident is that carriers and businessmen love BB10, but will consumers?

15:10 I love rhetoric questions.

15:10 Alec Saunders, VP of Developer Relations (and this guy) says there are no devs in Antarctica. I need to prove him wrong.

15:13 “Honk if you want BlackBerry 10!” says this guy.

15:13 Now there’s a guy who made a song called No Sleep ‘Til BlackBerry 10. I kid you not.

15:14 Now random guy is talking to CrackBerry Kevin, the guy who said he wouldn’t cut his hair until the launch.

15:15 THEY ARE CUTTING KEVIN’S PONYTAIL.

15:16 Here’s Thorsten Heins, sounding German.

15:18 “Innovation is at the heart of RIM. Now finally, here we are!” Thorsten gets applause.

15:19 They keep saying BlackBerry 10 is here, but they’re not actually doing anything.

15:20 Are you hyper-connected socially? BB10 is for you!

15:21 It is ‘built to keep you moving’.

15:23 We can confirm Thorsten did just say ‘internet of things’.

15:23 Thorsten’s thanking the QNX guys, Jim Balsillie and Mike Lazaridis.

15:26 RIM is killing the RIM name. RIM is now BlackBerry, making the BlackBerry. Finally they are making sense.

15:28 BlackBerry’s new stock symbols are BBRY and BB.

15:29 NEW PHONES. Z10 and Q10.

15:29 The Z10 has a 356ppi 1280 x 768 4.2″ screen with a textured surface for comfort.

15:31 The Q10 has a physical keyboard. That’s literally it.

15:32 It does, however, have a glass weave cover. Nobody knows what that is, but it sounds weavy.

15:34 Some guy called Vivek is showing off the Flow multitasking and Peek notifications while watching a video of a German car.

15:37 Vivek and Thorsten are making vacation jokes in the Hub (the one with the notifications).

15:38 BB10 can link contacts together automagically, just like every other platform in the world.

15:38 Thorsten is literally clapping louder than the entire audience.

15:40 The new prediction-heavy keyboard looks cool, and is modelled on the BB QWERTY.

15:41 The default email signature seems to be “Sent from my new BlackBerry Z10”. UGH. I WILL NOT READ YOUR EMAILS WITH THAT KIND OF ADVERNATURE.

15:43 Balance lets you have work and personal profiles. Thorsten’s talking about the boring business security stuff.

15:56 We’re back! WordPress decided to do some server maintenance. Here’s what we missed.

15:56 And camera stuff, new third party apps (70k total) and Story Maker. STORIES.

15:58 The review embargo has been lifted. Here’s Joshua Topolsky’s.

16:02 Over 1k top apps are on BB10. Massive punch aimed at Microsoft.

16:03 There’s Rdio, SoundHound, EA, social stuff and other stuff, but no sign of Spotify. Dealbreaker for many.

16:06 You can also get movies, TV and music from BlackBerry World.

16:07 Insert generically intensely soundtracked content advertising video here.

16:08 All four US carriers are getting these. Insert Thorsten clap.

16:09 The Z10 is available tomorrow in the UK in basically every store. I know what I’ll be doing tomorrow.

16:10 Chemistry, that is. Might find the phone after.

16:10 Another big announcement from Thorsten is impending!

16:11 “We’ve created a new positiion at BlackBerry. A Global Creative Director!

16:12 It’s Alicia Keys.

16:15 Thorsten Heins is officially freakishly tall. Either that or all his employees are diminutive.

16:16 Alicia wants to “bridge the gap between the work phone and the play phone”.

16:17 Her job is to persuade Neil Gaiman to use BB10. There’s a video on it.

16:20 It seems Alicia is starting in the office on Monday. Nice few days off.

16:20 Thorsten’s wrapping things up, so I will too. Thanks for joining us!

16:21 The press get a Q&A session, but I get to go and eat some crisps now. I’ll be getting some hands-on time tomorrow.

16:21 See you next time!

Apple event liveblog: 7.9″ iPad Mini, 13″ Retina MacBook, iMac, Mac Mini and iPad refreshes

Another month brings another Apple event, and this time we expect to see a whole plethora of new and updated devices, spearheaded by the iPad Mini. Rumoured to have a 7.85″ 1024 x 768 display and a design similar to that of the new iPod Touch, this device looks set to sport a low price tag to take on the Nexus 7 and company. Rumour also has it that the existing iPad will receive a minor update with a Lightning connector and 4G in more territories (such as with EE in the UK) and the Mac family will get minor updates across the board, with the highlight being a 13″ Retina MacBook Pro. We also expect to hear a bit more about iTunes 11 tonight, but whatever happens we will be around to liveblog proceedings on this very page. Enjoy!

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WWDC in 5 word sentences

That screen sounds absolutely incredible.
You can talk to iPads.
USB 3.0 is now infiltrating.
Nobody likes massively oversized laptops.
Siri likes fridges, mocks Samsung.
Open Monsters Ate My Condo.
The Mac Pro isn’t dead!
Why did you expect iPhones?
Maps are the way forward.
Apple will survive without Steve.
FaceTime over cellular is pointless.
Want Ivy Bridge with that?
Sharing from notifications is egotistical.
Facebook is still a thing.
At least Ping is dead.